How Do You Protect Your Child When a Friend Becomes Distant?


Today I picked up Massimo from school.  He is usually the life of the party and everyone’s friend.  In the car he was a bit quiet and not himself so I asked him how his day went.  His answer was good, but a little sad.

Our conversation went like this:

Me:  Massimo, how was your day?

Massimo:  Tom doesn’t want to play with me anymore.  He only wants to play with Mark.

Me:  Why don’t you ask if all of you guys can play together?

Massimo:  I did, but they just want to play with each other.  They won’t let me join their game.

This was the first big emotional moment of Massimo’s school life.  This milestone is a reality that most people may face at one point or the other, when friends drift apart.  As a parent I wish I could protect him from this pain, but it is an emotion that will help him become stronger in the long run.

Unfortunately there will be many instances where he may befriend someone one day, and they may just become acquaintances later on.  Children can become best friends immediately, but at the same time they can also lose interest with each other.

I told my 5-year-old son that all because Tom did not want to play with him today did not mean that he may not want to play with him the next day.  I tried to express that kids can be fickle, but this was an opportunity for him to make other friends and play with more kids in class.

I don’t know if my pep talk helped Massimo, but I know it made me feel better.

I hope you have a wonderful day!


8 responses to “How Do You Protect Your Child When a Friend Becomes Distant?

  1. You did the perfect thing. Don’t ever minimize his anxiety, because it’s real to him. 🙂

  2. Amy Flory Grotzke via Facebook

    It’s not fun when it happens as a grown up, either.

  3. This made my heat ache a little just reading it. I’ve seen this w/ my daughters too, both on the giving and receiving end. You did exactly the right thing reminding him of the fickleness of his peers. Kids tend to stick w/ friends in the long haul, but on a daily basis they can be like the weather. Hope he & his buddy are back to normal soon. 🙂

    • HI! Thank you Daily Dish. These emotions are new for Massimo so it is new for us as parents too. I have hade to remember what it was like when I was a kid. I remember being on both ends too.

      Yesterday was Massimo’s birthday party and his friend and him looked like they were on the right track…


  4. Thank you The Lucky Mom and Amy, I hope I didn’t make you feel that way, just joking. See you tomorrow!

  5. Aw, poor guy! That stinks. One good things about growing older; we learn who is worth our time and “choose happy now” over sweating the small stuff. Great blog!!

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